Can we talk about last night’s episode of Catfish? Just for a little bit? Jennifer, a high school senior, has been chatting online with Skylar, a junior in college, and is ready to meet him. Things go wrong, as you’d expect them to, and I know that I’m supposed to feel a little bad for her (Nev and Max sure do and definitely get mad on her behalf) but come on, Jennifer. Listen, sometimes the catfish are tricky online creatures that fool the best of the best but sometimes it is so painfully obvious that the guy is a fake and there’s really no point to call Nev. Just block the screenname and move on to a different chat room. I understand that Jennifer is young and naïve but this is just ridiculous. Let’s break this down:
The guy’s name is Skylar Hazen. That is not a real name. That’s a name that pops up in a Find Your Catfish Name generator.
He only sent her two photos and refuses to vidchat with her because he’s so busy with school. He’s in college. You don’t do anything in college but dick around on the internet. He has the time to vidchat.
HE SAYS HE DOESN’T HAVE A FACEBOOK. Sure, there are some people who legitimately don’t have a Facebook, those who brag about it at parties in the same condescending tone they use when they say “Oh, I don’t own a television set.” But you know who does have a Facebook? Everyone in college. Every dude in college. Every dude in college who is studying “computer tech” and chats up girls on the internet.
Jennifer never googled Skylar Hazen’s name. This is just lazy. I’m not saying that you’re supposed to do thorough searches of everyone you are remotely interested in (although yes, of course I do this) but if you’re worried that a guy you’ve been e-flirting with is lying to you, just google his name. It takes two seconds! You don’t need a camera crew from MTV to use google!
Nev and Max basically tell Jennifer that Skylar is a total fake and probably an asshole and maybe she shouldn’t meet him. Jennifer wants to meet him. Just stop it, Jennifer.
So they go to meet Skylar and Skylar is Bryan, a complete dickhead with no remorse. Here’s the best/worst thing about this episode: I kind of like Bryan because he’s so terrible. He broke some poor high school girl’s heart but he’s kind of hilarious? I mean, when Nev calls to arrange a meeting Bryan calls Nev out and asks him to prove that he’s really Nev from Catfish. This is gold! He admits he doesn’t have any feelings for Jennifer. He admits that he does this to other girls. He basically admits that he only agreed to meet Jennifer so he could come clean to all of the other girls at once. There’s no doubt in my mind that he sent out a mass e-mail to all of these girls (and probably didn’t even BCC it) that just said “Watch Catfish tonight ;)” so he wouldn’t have to break the news to them individually. Nev and Max get increasingly mad (which is adorable because they’re Nev and Max) and Bryan just shrugs the entire thing off. He was brushing up on his game, he was giving Jennifer a gift. It’s the biggest pile of bullshit but he’s just so casual about being a prick that I couldn’t stop laughing. I sincerely hope that Bryan ends up in a later Catfish episode pulling the same scam on another girl.